Tuesday, July 11, 2006

My Wife

Jayne and Evan StarkMy wife wrote a really nice blog for our wedding anniversary this year. I think she was trying to embarrase me a little with a few of the things she was saying.

After seven years of marriage I can hardly believe all that has happened between us. It really doesn't seem that long ago that we first started making "eyes" towards one another. We still do. Sometimes the eyes speak nicely; other times they say something entirely different.

Jayne is a pretty special lady. It really does go without saying that I don't deserve her. But, I think it is pretty cool that we have each other.

She does a lot to make my life easier. Big things. Little things. Things I don't see or recognize.

She also is willing to undergo the stresses of change. Big change. Little change. Changes both known and unknown.

Life doesn't really stand still long enough to completely get a handle on everything. Change is constant, but I think those changes are made easier when you have someone equally committed to you as you are them. While I can not say our heart, mind, soul, and spirit are always aligned with that, I know in my heart our vows to one another remain true.

Living with me isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to do. I should know. I'm with myself all the time. I know I've driving people crazy before by the things I do and say... and the things I don't do or say. It is nice to know someone loves me anyway.

Before marrying Jayne I wasted a lot of time and energy on things that now seem petty and shortsighted. I wondered if my life was meant to be shared with someone or if being single was something destined for my life. After seven years of marriage I'm really starting to understand how much marriage means to me.

Being married isn't always the easiest thing in the world; however, I know from experience that being single isn't always easy either. I much prefer being married.

Life is also a lot different now with two sons. How in the world I'd live without them now seems impossible. They both have the same parents but they are so obviously two unique and precious individuals. Jayne mentioned how they both seem to really long to connect with me lately whenever I'm around. Their devotion to me and mom just seems impossible for me to comprehend. They just love us.

I really have no idea what the future holds for our family. My trust in the Lord gives me the comfort to know He is watching over us. God has proven Himself faithful in the past for me; I know He is worthy of my continued faith in His provision and care.

Today I was talking with Joe Lightfoot about how similar the world and church appear to be to one another. Christians who have put their faith and trust in God should have marriages and relationships significantly different from those who don't. The tragedy is how caught up in the world many of us Christians end up being. I'm not proposing we should lock ourselves up and isolate ourselves from the world... I think having Jesus in your heart should make a significant difference in who you are.

I'll be the first to admit that I continually fall short of the example of Jesus when showing love to my wife. It is many times easier to express my love to her in ways that don't always connect with her in a language she understands. Fortunately, she continues to grow in her understanding and knowledge of me. It is one thing to know and understand how God loves me this way... another to know and understand this from parents... but from someone who isn't related by blood is something different all together.

Jayne didn't need to say "I do" seven years ago and neither did I. However, seven years ago we did say those words to each other before our friends, family, and God. I know a lot of special years have passed us by since that day; however, something deep within tells me we have a lot more special years to look forward to.